The news speaks of politics and gas prices and conflict halfway across the world but today is something much more important. Today is Man Day.
What, you may ask, is Man Day?
Man Day is better than Thanksgiving. Man Day is more important than the Autumn Equinox. It pushes Columbus Day aside like a little baby.
Man Day is the day when the planets align in their proper sequence and in a yearly miracle we are treated to Baseball, Football (H.S., College & Professional), and now Basketball for a brief moment before the planets spin out of alignment once again.
Multiple televisions are placed around the house tuned to different games and even sports. Women and children below the age of 18 are urged to go to the mall or even check into a hotel for the night. A few brave Women do brave the Man Day festivities, but it is a rare occurrence.
The traditional Man Day apparel usually involves a rotating wardrobe of jerseys of one’s favorite players and teams to be switched meticulously as one changes stations. Men dig deep into closets to pull out their basketball gear while football and baseball gear is usually well in place.
The ritual beer can pyramid is also a Man Day tradition.These can reach great heights depending upon how many men come together to celebrate. In some states, Men go from home to home, indicated by team banners hung with care from balconies and flagpoles beer- or – treating. Woe to those who do not come through, or come through with swill.
Barbecues around the country are lit and kept burning into the early evening, forming a galaxy of orange – blue light if seen from the air.
Sometime early in the evening, Man Day begins to fade away, usually during the first quarter of basketball pre-season games. While signifying the changing of the season, they are more symbolic than meaningful.
Snores and belches and farts and other noises are heard throughout the land, and for a brief, shining moment, we can revel in our Manhood.
Here’s to Man Day!!!